Saturday, May 31, 2014

Long before the recent mass murder incident I was thinking about this topic.

Men don't see how they behave the same way.

Amanda Hess was more articulate about it than I could ever be here on The Slate.

But it is not just the men who hit on you in bars - or yell at you on the street.

Men can unknowingly make women uncomfortable just by not giving you space or by acting "playful".

The reason I thought about this topic was that within the space of 24 hours I had felt threatened by men - who probably didn't see it that way.

I was walking out of the Y early one morning, VERY early as I get there at 5am when it opens and leave by 5:40am.  It was still dark.  A guy zipped into the parking lot by the sidewalk I was on - rapidly stopping and jumping out.  And as he jogs past me says, "Good Morning." as if this were normal.

Are you a man and think I am crazy?

Ladies, what would you have done?

Me.  Nearly peed myself.

I went into church the next morning to drop something off for a Sunday breakfast. I walked into the kitchen and this guy booms, "HEY. This is the MEN'S Breakfast - YOU can't be here!" And then after a beat - he laughed.  He was totally joking, but it took me a full ten minutes to feel right again after I left. It made me acutely aware that I was being watched by all in that kitchen as I put berries and juice into the fridge.  And like any good girl I laughed too in an attempt to ease everyone, including myself.

It's unsettling and startling to be called out like that - and I know he did not mean to upset me, but he did.

Men. I am not bashing you. I know we need you guys around and you are good and everything - but, bless your little souls you need to think about a woman's space and feelings of safety.

1 comment:

Slamdunk said...

I try to be sensitive to the feelings of others, but am regularly scolded by the Mrs. for my projecting voice and startling her. I have learned to try making more noise when I walk to better announce my presence...

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