Writer's Workshop - The Diet

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Mama's Losin' It

So I signed up to get the prompts from Mama Kat - and I really wanted to play, but I forgot last week - and this week...I was not inspired by any of the prompts.

le sigh

So I went to Mama Kat's site and pulled up all the old prompts and chose to write about....

Describe the worst diet you ever put yourself on.

Early on in my marriage I decided to drop a few pounds - I had gained that "happy weight" and it was not helping me fit into my cute work clothing and I was sick of using the tricks.

You know the tricks, right?  Use a safety pin to keep your pants and skirts together at the waist and wear a loooooooong shirt or sweater over it. 

I know, not pretty.

So I looked around the internet for a "diet" - really I was looking out for a quick fix for the eating and drinking I had done over the preparations, parties, wedding and honeymoon. 

Ugh. 

(side note: I wish I was that "fat" weight now! double UGH!)

I came up with SCAN DIET.

How bad could it be?  It was developed in Scandinavia after all. 
Those people are smart, right? 
The Scandinavians are sensible, right?  I mean the United Nations was their idea!!!

So I start the diet after buying the expensive powders, THIS should have been my first clue.

Then I read up and the first TWELVE weeks I am supposed to drink three to four "shakes" a day and fruits and vegetables.  NO MEAT. 

The "shake" provided all the protien I was going to need.  (ummm, riiiiight.)

Now let me say this, I AM a fan of soy protien and thought this was a fine plan at the time.  The problem is that it just is not sustainable to only drink "shakes" and eat fruits and veggies over that kind of time frame. 
I mean no grains, no bread, no protein outside of the "shakes". 

It just is not realistic.
And my BODY knew this.

I was going along just fine.  I love fruit and veggies so I was okay with it all in the front of my brain...then one night...I had a dream;

I was tearing apart and GNAWING bloody red warm meat with my bare hands. 

AND I LIKED IT - Nay, LOVED IT!

Somewhere deep down inside my body was CRYING out for more nutrients than I was getting from these "shakes" and despite the fact I had lost 24lbs in eight weeks...

The next day I had a steak stir fry.

And I savored every last juicy drippity-drop of that meat.

(It was tough to research for this story because basically - Scan Diet does not seem to exist any longer.  I believe they have replaced this with a new product called Nutrilett.)

Now enjoy the battle over this meat.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

I once did a cottage cheese diet, after two weeks I had gained ten pounds:(

jackie said...

I don't think I can do a diet with no meat! Although, I've done the Atkins and after a while, I was getting sick of eating meat.

lvankuiken said...

Oh, after both my kids were born I did the cabbage soup diet. Ugh. And same thing...I WISH I was that size now!

scargosun said...

My mom did the shake diet way back when Oprah did it. She lost weight but gained it all back for the same reasons. It's just not logical to eat that way. I like food WAY too much to do a diet like that. WW worked for me. :)

Elle said...

I attempted to try the cabbage soup diet. While cooking the soup and smelling how awful it was, that was all the appetite contol I needed. :)

Eat. Live. Laugh. and sometimes shop! said...

Life is too short - eat dessert first. That's my motto.

sprinkles said...

When I graduated high school, I wore like a size 6 and thought I was sooooooo fat! I'd kill to wear a 6 these days.

Erin said...

It's amazing the diets we put ourselves on!

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

I tried doing the Special K diet. Except as much as I love cereal that is just way too much.

Mommy Lisa said...

Yup we are all crazy at one time or another with a diet.

scargosun I totally agree that WW is the most sensible and it worked for me too...just don't have time for the meetings and not sure the online would work for me.

lexlocilori said...

I hear ya. I would not do well on that diet. My new diet is not drinking wine which is pretty darn hard for me.

Emm said...

Diets can be so bad, especially if they are not right for you or your body type!

I went to a registered dietician once who decided that I was undereating ot the point of starvation. She had me eating all sorts of snacks and muffins and dried fruit and my BMI shot up about 8 points in as many weeks. It was terrible and it took me about 5 years to get my BMI back down to the same level.

Marla said...

I have been on almost every diet known to man. What a waste of time. We were not meant to diet. We were meant to live healthy. Now if I could just practice what I preach. :-)

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