Did you smell that?

Friday, March 30, 2012

So we are a family of farters. 
My mother used to say to me "Ewww. You are such a piggy girl.  Who do you think is going to want to marry a girl who burps and farts all the time."
My brother one time laid down gas so horrific, in a car, with NO WAY TO ROLL DOWN THE WINDOWS, in bumper to bumper traffic with no exit is sight that cause my father to WAKE UP from the back seat and say, "Good LORD PETE!  What died up in there???"
I have imagined my own restaurant - TOOTS! - where we serve food that makes you gassy, but is delicious, and has a special glass VSP* dining area with filters!  All kinds of fun cartoons on the walls and "Pull My Finger!" as our tagline. 
But I digress.
You see I met my husband, T-bone. 
He is Legen - wait for it and don't forget your Lactaid as it will be very - DAIRY! in his gasious emmissions. 
And he does not discriminate to whom he farts around either - except my mom, he hardly farts around my mom. 


T-bone relayed this small tale to me the other night.

You know when you left?  Boo Boo and I went downstairs to put away the stuff in the freezer.

Uh-huh. (not really paying attention)

Yeah, she was handing me stuff and I was putting it in the freezer, then - I let out a big fart.

(WHY is he telling me this??)

So Boo Boo paused, sniffed, then took the bag of peas that were in her hand and covered her face - told me I made a BIG STINKY FART, made faces and dramatically fell to the ground, flopping.  

OMG - that is funny!

Yeah, she is a pretty funny kid. 


Yes, Boo Boo La La is a pretty funny kid.  Who loves her farts.

How about you?  What kind of family are you?  Farters? Or Corkers?  

Let it all out.  


Slamdunk said...

LOL. Great topic Lisa. Well, I am always in trouble for the locker room humor that I promote here--so much more farting than not. The young daughter usually points anyone out when it happens so I am blamed by the Mrs.

sprinkles said...

My father was VERY gassy! He burped and farted all.the.time. I told him many, many times that he should mention his gassiness his doctor the next time he went in for a checkup but he never did.

His beagles could let loose some smelly farts too!

gretchen said...

HA! Oh we are a family of farters. Sad, but true. Once, long ago, my brother-in-law was stuck in his apartment for several days during a blizzard, and used the time to make a tape of himself farting. A variety of farts. He then edited it together into what he called his Fart Mix. When he met the woman who eventually became my sister-in-law, he knew she was the woman for him when he played his Fart Mix for her and she thought it was the funniest thing she'd ever heard!

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