#Clueless apparently

(So I wrote this awhile ago - why I didn't publish it? No clue. Enjoy!)

I have Pinterest, Twitter, Google+.

I am on Facebook, I have a blog, and I deleted my MySpace account.

I thought I was hip.  I mean I watch RHONY and WWHL!!!?!

Apparently I am #Clueless

I got a free two-month subscription to Sirius for my car and I have been listening to Radio Andy. This morning a show was on that I had not heard before where they are talking about what is going on in Social Media and they were reading tweets between three young "stars" Azealea Banks, Zayn Malik and Skai Jackson - who is actually the only one I had heard of because I have a ten-year-old girl.

Apparently Miss Banks likes to bully people and use racial slurs - Skai Jackson told her to chill out and a Twitter war ensued.  Long story short, the 14-year old Skai made the 20-something Azealea look like a bully AND an idiot.

All while not using profanity or any slurs.

#SHADECLASSISINSESSION

And while I think it was cool she stood up for herself - it is amazing that there are grown people all over the internet and the airwaves who are getting PAID to "report" this stuff.

What does it say about our Trump-voting-Kardashian-watching-Duggar-praying-Gossip-having culture today that this was so easily Google-able and I got a MAGNITUDE of results outlining this Twitter feud?

Yes, I have Pinterest, Twitter, Google +, Facebook and a blog. I watch Bravo and have listened to Radio Andy. 

But, I don't think of gossip as news. 

I feel #clueless as to why people don't seem to know the difference.  

Worse.

A lot of people don't seem to care that there is a difference.

Dear Fancy Online Stores,

I love to get fun pieces - at a discount.

I scour the web for the days that stores discount their clearance further.

It has to be PRETTY special deal for me to pounce.  Like this scarf I get all the compliments on...

Why?

Shipping fees.

Really? Shipping fees?

Yes.  They are ridiculous unless you spend $175 or $200 (I don't) and on some websites go up with the value of your order.  Let that sink in - the shipping fee can INCREASE based on the dollar amount you order!!!!  Wha????  Oh yeah, the deal at those sites has to be freaking awesome, or they have a free shipping code out, for me to buy from them.

I found that some websites will give me free shipping because of my American Express and recently if you used that Visa Checkout and a couple of sites, but still - NOT everyone.

I am looking at YOU Anthropologie!!!

But a girl can wrap herself in her pretty scarf and dream.

Couldn't sleep at all last night...

Well, partially true.

I went to bed about 10 o'clock last night.  Yes, I am old thankyouverymuch.

I woke up just before 4 am and the stupid hamster in the wheel of my cranial cavity started thinking about all the things that I need to do.  None of it bad at all.  Just "BUSY" you know?

I had to sort the Fall leaflets for my Sunday School class - each week in it's very own ziplock bag - marked with the date we will use that story.

I needed to finish planning what we would actually DO this Sunday for our lesson on Adam & Eve.  Thank you PINTEREST!  We are making Cheerio Bird Feeders this week to talk about how God put Adam & Eve here to take care of all the living creatures.  Cool, huh?

Now I have to figure out when I will shop for the Cheerios, floral wire and pipe cleaners.

Probably sometime AFTER soccer this morning and BEFORE we get cash and go to the Street Fair on Lowery today.  Did I mention T-bone is abandoning me to golf with my friend Julie's husband Jeff?

Did I figure out what I was making for dinner?  Oh yeah - tortellini, don't let me forget that.

Crap. Got to get that post up on Facebook about still needing volunteers for Thursday's Spaghetti Dinner at school.  PTO has to figure out to spend my time somehow, right?  Oh - didn't I tell you I still am doing PTO and Girl Scouts.

OMG - I still have not put Boo Boo's patches on her new Brownie Sash.  This week, one night, I promise to dust off my iron and ironing board.  HONEST.  I will do it.  And I will pull out her BRAND NEW BROWNIE book and have her think of one or two badges SHE wants to earn, that was our Brownie homework!

I am scheduled for training at work Monday and Wednesday - I have three contracts I am working on and more sure to come.

And then - when am I shopping for Mai Tai ingredients for Miss Palmquist's Birthday Luau?  I got two weeks.  It will happen.  And if you have a tried and true Mai Tai recipe, do share.

So there you have it.  A data dump from my brain and the reason why I am up and blogging this early.

I need coffee.

Which is it? You can't have it both ways.

I watch Morning Joe.

Why? Well Mika, and Joe is good to hear the "other" side of things when he isn't all rant-y.  And they ALLOW people to have an opinion most days without screaming over each other.  The days Joe gets preach-y and rant-y I change the channel. And they are cuter to look at than most other news peeps.

See?  I mean Willie Geist?  Come on ladies???

My morning treadmill jaunt and Morning Joe.  Harmless.

Today I was reading the scroll, as I do during commercials or when Bill Karins is reading the weather, and the scroll went IN ORDER - The Republican Party does not want to be seen as the party of "stuffy old men", Boehner can NEVER IMAGINE approving of gay marriage, and the GOP is spending $10M to attract minorities.  I shortened it up, but that was what scrolled in succession.   

GOP - you cannot have it both ways.

You cannot have a leader who is a "stuffy old guy" AND improve your image, AND attract minorities because you throw money at the "problem".  

How about making policies that people can actually stand behind? 

I get that you want to be seen as fiscally conservative, but does that mean we move back to the stone ages and ban abortion, put women back in the kitchen, and say "she was asking for it" and stone women who are raped?  

Choices need to be made.  By all of us. 

And maybe the first one is that Boehner doesn't speak for the GOP?

It feels good to be a Gangsta...

So - shortly after I met my husband things got serious.

Really shortly.

It was unusual I guess, even strange that we decided to get married so soon after we met.

It was not smooth - but it was right, you know?

People soon started questioning my brother, "Do you like this T-bone guy?"

My brother said, "He drinks beer, he golfs.  What's not to like?'

Oh - and he has such great style.

Every year I am abandoned by my husband for a day of golf and merriment with my brother and his buddies from high school and various additions over the past twenty years - they call it, The Bastard Open. (I should probably have my brother write about WHY they call themselves "The Bastard's" because even I am not quite sure, they just always have called themselves that.) 

My hubby and brother are partners and try to coordinate with each other.  It started with the Batman shirts my hubby made for them, then this year my brother told the hubs he should get some plaid "man-pri's" so they could try to match more.  They ended up with the EXACT SAME PAIR.

Yeah, it IS good to be a Gangsta.


And just how stylish is YOUR man?

Reason number 215 to not allow your husband access to the camera....

Breakin' the law....breakin' the law!

This week it is time to SPILL YOUR GUTS!  Tell SupahMommy and MommyBrain just how naughty you are....

BEHIND the WHEEL!

Follow the link to read the rules...or continue breaking the law!

My story comes from when I was in my late-twenties.  I remember the day because it was the day of the infamous OJ slow-speed-chase down a California highway with Al Cowlings.  I was home at my parents because I was wanting to go out for an early round of birthday fun from my job in radio at KXRA (sad but true, the website is no different than it was in 1994) in Alexandria, MN.  My friend Amy and I went downtown Minneapolis to Bunker's to hear some tunes and get cheap beers.  All anyone could talk about was OJ!  I mean I don't even remember who was playing that night! (it was most like Dr. Mambo's Combo...or GB Leighton, some thing DO NOT change.)

Anyway, a few dollar beers later...I drove Amy home and then headed for my parents house.

Whoopsie!  Pulled over right across the street from Eden Prairie mall!  Cute cop comes up to my window...
"Do you know you went over the line back there?"
I did?
"Yes you did!  Are you okay?"
Yes, I am fine.  Just driving home to my parents house.  Why?
"Oh well, you seem fine.  I will just give you a warning...can I have your license?"
Uh, sure!  Ummm.  Here.
"Thanks, wait here."
a few minutes pass...
"Thanks Lisa.  You know, here is my card, if you aren't busy - give me a call."

Oh, SURE!

WTF?  Instead of a breathalizer and walking the line I got hit on by a cop?!?  I mean, I would have passed any test - I was not "drunk" but I am sure he could smell the beer!

At least he was cute, but he obviously knew it!

Disclaimer - MommyLisa is no longer the single hell-raiser she was in her twenties...she is WAY more mature and makes her husband drive or does not drink. 

Talk amongst yourselves...

I am going to Springsteen tonight...yes, I sometimes say he is "Whiney Man-Music".

HOWEVER, I hear he rocks live so I am going...

so the topic to discuss amongst yourselves is this...

There is a woman I work with who does not watch television. She does not own a television. She has no kids either, but I digress. She gets all her news from the INTERNET - she says that "Television journalism does not allow you to get the facts, it is clouded by opinion."

What do you think about that?

up late at night you see the biggest tools...

I was up EARLY Thursday morning, like 4am, so I went downstairs and turned on the television.

This informercial was on:

Uh, yeah. GROSS!!!!

Yes ED is a problem, but I do not want to watch grandpa talking about his pee-pee pump on the television, do you?

AND this thing is subsidized by MEDICARE???

But the next infomercial hosted another tool:

He may be funny, but he is hawking old videos with Martha Quinn?

lame. both of them.

Gardening for a purpose

I am not saying I will be planting a full on garden of veggies, but I might try some tomatoes or something!